Friday, September 9, 2011

No need to be unemployed

Dave @ Underground Carpenter got me to thinking with this post.

He mentions in passing that he's currently in a state of employment interruptus.
No need to fret. There's actually no shortage of opportunities available.

I realized that with some "right-thinking", and "new-speaking", the possibilities are indeed limitless.
To help out the homeless sitting at the local library, or merely the paycheckless, here's the short list I offered to Dave. For those unfamiliar with "newspeak" I've provided old-think translations.

Political Activist …. rioter
Re-Distribution Specialist … looter
Unfunded Personal Shopper … shoplifter
Freelance Charitable Contribution Endowment Manager … panhandler
Migratory Temporary Labor Professional … hobo
Philosopher … bum
Unfortunately i don’t have the hair for:
Facilitator for Dissemination of Obfuscation and Untruths … politician

Welcome to the new economy folks!

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